Jonathan is a client of mine who is forty something years old and met with me about a frustration that has been growing strong for him.
Jonathan, who has been single for 4 years, is frustrated about not being able to meet women.
Although he is desperate to be in a relationship, he just can’t image the thought of approaching women much less being able to start a conversation.
As we discussed the many reasons that could possibly be stopping him from approaching women, he hesitantly disclosed that he was unhappy about the way he looked.
So I asked him to reflect on what it was about his image that he felt unhappy with, and his response was that he felt unattractive and at times, he even felt disgusted with himself since he had gained over forty pounds within the last couple years.
Because he is overweight, he strongly believes this is the reason why women would not want to speak with him. In fact, he assured me that all women loath men who are out of shape. However, I find his believe somewhat suspicious as I have personally worked with people that are much bigger than Jonathan and have met incredible individuals in their lives, falling in love and married happily.
Unfortunately, we live in a culture that has programmed us to think that we are just as good as we look physically.
However, there is no truth in that way of thinking. Although it is a good thing to feel good about ourselves physically, we should be more focused on loving and valuing our inner selves for all the great qualities that we possess because after all, if we want to be in a long lasting relationship, we must be able to offer a whole lot more than just a good thing to look at.
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