4 Ways to F*ck up a First Date

4 Ways-to Fuck up a First Date

I know, I know, you’re here to learn how to succeed with women, not how to screw things up. But just bear with me here, because sometimes you need to learn what not to do before you can understand what really works. And while some of these things may seem obvious, you might be surprised by a few of them.

1. Yap, Yap, Yap: Ok, so it’s obviously important to break the ice on a first date. And you do this by talking – by throwing out a couple stories that are tried and true – that have made women more comfortable in the past. But then what? Don’t just keep going on, telling story after story with a pause in between for her to giggle or smile or nod. Cuz guess what happens? Eventually, the giggles turn to smiles, the smiles turn the nods, the nods turn to grunts, and the next thing you know, you’re hearing: “well, I have an early day tomorrow…” Strike three! The flow of back and forth is important. If anything, you want her to be opening up to you more. So create your conversational stories with that in mind.

2. Too Much of a Good Thing: You’ve heard the phrase: “Flattery will get you nowhere.” Well, when it comes to women, you can throw that one in the trash. Flattery, in fact, will get you lots of places, given in moderation. The key is to not come across like a used-car salesman talking up a run-down clunker to a gap-toothed guy who looks like he just surfaced out of Boston Harbor. In other words, go easy. Well-timed, understated flattery will get you much further than a prolonged assault of praise. If you keep up the attack, you’re likely to drive her away rather than reel her in.

3. Get Out of First Gear: I mentioned the ice breaker in passing above, but it really deserves much more than that. Because the fact is, you won’t go anywhere without a good icebreaker. I’m assuming this is really your first date. Maybe you met this girl one night at a party, got her number, and this is the next time you’ve seen each other. You’re psyched; she’s probably psyched too. Now it’s up to you to get things off on the right foot, rather than lurching about scrounging for things to talk about like you’re scrounging for munchies at 3 in the morning. Messy, very messy. Instead, take a deep breath. You might start by going back to where you left off that night. Let the conversation flow naturally from there. Don’t try to force it in a particular direction by saying some pre-planned thing. It’ll come out of nowhere, and it’s likely to go over with a thud. In short, come up with a few questions beforehand that you think might get things off to the races. But since no plan survives first contact with the enemy, or the date, be flexible and don’t try to jam a round one-liner in a square hole.

4. Talk is Cheap: This goes out to the bros with money. In short, keep it to yourself. You’ll get a lot further by showing her your class than by talking about it. If you start by talking yourself up, you’ll end up talking yourself right out of a date. If you show up in your sweet ride, take her someplace nice and let things flow, you’ll end up with many more dates besides. Now, I don’t recommend going balls to the wall wine and dine on the first date. You’ll be setting a dangerous precedent. But if that’s your thing, do it quietly, and you’ll get a lot further that night and thereafter.

See what the girls had to say in their Dating Advice Interviews

Eric Eros

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